What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

What has two legs? Half a cat

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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