Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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No!

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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