Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's up? Your time.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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