Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

This would be racist to black people if they could read.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

Why did the old man die? He was old.

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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