Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Justin's life

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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