Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops