You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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