I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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No because your face is really f***** up.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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