Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops