- Anti Joke

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

pudding

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

Robert Mugabe.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

I had friends on the Death Star.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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