What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops