What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops