what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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