Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Manchester City

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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