What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops