A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops