What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops