Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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I'm Polish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops