How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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The FCC

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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