What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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Penis-biter

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops