why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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