There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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