Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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