Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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