why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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