What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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