How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops