One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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batman has diarrhea

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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