What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

 

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

How High is a Chinese man

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...