Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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The holocaust

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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