A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I have suicidal thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops