knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Obama

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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