Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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