A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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