How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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