A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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