I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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im gey

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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