Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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