What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops