A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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The child was fired from his job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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once upon a time, it snowed

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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