What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

If youre African, why are you white?

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

What did the Scientist say after he created Frankenstein? - I just created Frankenstein.

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

800 people died last year. end of story

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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