Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

willam dafoe

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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