The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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hello

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops