A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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96

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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