roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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diarrhea.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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