A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

Justin Bieber.

Hey how is your wife and my kids

a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...