Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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