Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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LOL

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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