How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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What's a joke? Funny

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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seek beauty

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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