Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Dislike if you are a prostitute

why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

angelo snyder is not ga

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

What is not funny Bad jokes!????

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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