There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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roy g biv

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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