A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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non poop

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops