A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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