Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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