why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops