Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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split your ass cheek

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops