Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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You're welcome!

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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captcha: all yer base

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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